Don't Let Your Feelings Stop Your Flow

You see, YOU are like a mirror, a school, and a book in which others look, learn, and read how they're supposed to act.

I am Angela, your Success Coach, I challenge successful women to grow in success and to truly be an authentic version of themselves.

Let’s talk a little about the concept of not letting your feelings stop your flow.

How often do you find yourself in a scenario where you feel some type of way and respond adversely? Only to discover that the only person that is adversely affected is you.

Sometimes because our feelings cup is so full, we secretly put ourselves in a position where we refuse to take on any new relationships. Refusing to be open to any other

friendships, maybe even abusing the ones that we have.

When our cup is full- FEAR sets in and we become afraid to add anymore because it may overflow. And we know what it looks like when our cup overflows.

Chandler Moore’s song Feelings resonates and it really drives home this point. The beginning of this song says

I won't pretend

I'll say what I'm feeling

overwhelmed, emotions are raging

And then the hook says,

It's okay to not be okay.

I won't try to hide,

love leaves room for me to say that I'm not okay.

To every fear every lie, I heard love (GOD) leaves room for me.

FEAR! How does fear drive my feelings?

? How do I prevent it from stopping my flow?

? How do I turn this fear thing into fuel?

? How do I shift from fear stopping me to fear being a motivator?

? How do I make it so that fear is not me sitting on the side of the road, but me being at the gas station filling up my tank?

? How do I keep moving even though I'm fearful?

You know, the more I think about fear, I think I'm going to introduce it into a new four-letter word, you know, it goes right on along with all of the others, they prevent our growth, they cause stagnation, they prevent us from going forward. So we have a new curse word added to the book. Not that we need it anymore, right?

Let me answer HOW?

1. Identify the root, the root, from where does the fear grow.

2. Listen to your feelings, understanding, and identifying your feelings.

3. Grow in success.

As your success coach, I am here to challenge you, - YOU the successful woman to grow in success. And to truly be an authentic version of you. That version that leaves you in all like Yo, I did that? Yeah, that was me, did you see that? That's the version of you, that I challenge you to be.

In order to do that there's some work that we have to do, we have to start on the inside and work out. So what I'm really saying to you is, we can look really good on the outside. We can present a facade where those that look at us and what we have might even perceive that you know, we got it going on, you may have even heard me say you know, you might look like you live in a Huxtable life. But as time has passed, we really understand what was going on in the Huxtable house, I'm just saying- real talk.

What I want you to be able to do is to leave that legacy behind. I want you to have that opportunity to impact and stop those things that have come from generation to generation. And you be the start point. I want you to be able to flourish in whatever it is that you desire. But I do need to tell you that that starts with you. It doesn't start with mama and daddy. It doesn't start with “him”. It does not start with the children. It starts with you. You are the foundation.

So, let's talk about this root thing.

Why is it important to understand the root of our fears?

So, when we think about the root of our fears, what I need you to understand is that the root colors, colors, your outlook on life. Let me make it plain- if you had on a pair of glasses that had a red tint to them when you look out into the world, the world will have a red tint. So if you had a red pair and I had on a blue, what I see is different from yours, so The root, the past traumas, the past things that have occurred in your life, they put that filter over how you do things. They put that filter over why you do things. They are the reason why something very small happens, but you went, from zero to 100. It did not even have anything to do with that actual situation. But see what was happening to this as somebody was tapping into the root of the pain. They had no idea or understanding that they were, they were tapping into a place that they didn't want to be. But they received the response that had been suppressed. That's what they got. They are still confused. Yeah.

But it's because that past trauma has colored your outlook on life.

But see, when we identify that root, let me tell you what it gives you the opportunity to do. It enables you to

Let go of what was so that you can embrace what truly is like the truth, embrace what is so that you're not carrying around layers of things that don't even matter.

One more time. It's going to allow you to

Let go of what was so that you can embrace what truly is like the truth, embrace what is so that you're not carrying around layers of things that don't even matter.

That's what uncovering the root will allow you to do.

Let's move on to point 2.

It is about understanding and acknowledging your feelings. So, when things happen, and you feel some type of way, trust it, trust your feelings, trust it enough to pause and understand what the root of this feeling is.

What I am not saying is that, because you feel this way you are entitled to lash out at others. Yes, there is an underlying issue- that YOU must acknowledge and address, there's a root in the ground.

This requires you to pause. Sometimes you can't just react. I'm challenging you to have enough emotional intelligence. To know when you need to stop. Just chill for a minute. and assess yourself. Before you go from zero to 100 in 2.2 seconds.

Pause.

Think what's this feeling?

What’s coming over me, I'm feeling some type of way.

I'm talking fast…sweating… my legs shaking.. rolling my eyes…popping my lips, whatever it is that you do.

When you feel in some type of way. You might just go quiet, you might be the silent type. You might shut down.

Trust and acknowledge your feelings, and then go back and look, what's the root of this thing? Because that's what needs to be addressed.

Okay, I want to just touch here real quick and tell you that we are masters of suppression masters. So things can occur in our life. And we might, you know, take a step back and walk away from it for a little bit. But when we come back, we act like nothing ever happened. We're suppressing stuff and pushing it down, deep down. But it doesn’t go anywhere. It's their festering like mold. That’s the source of your attitude.

Visualize this. You have a bag of onions and one of the onions has fallen into a corner in the pantry. And it's there for days, months, maybe even years, this onion has been suppressed.

? What does my pantry smell like?

? What does my kitchen my house smell like?

? What is the reaction of people when they open the pantry door and that smell hits them?

? Who wants to be around your pantry? Who wants to be a part of that stench? Where it smells so bad that the odor is seeping from your pores.

Everything now smells like onion…it reeks.

That's what's happening when you suppress. And then one day when you find that onion, and you pull it out, oh my, what does it look like? It's molded. That's what happens when we suppress.

I'll even go as far as to say suppressing your feelings affects your health. suppressing your feelings affects your relationships, it affects your ability to even have one affects your ability to love. It affects every facet of your life, if you have a business, it affects it. If you're in corporate America, it affects it. Everything that you're attached to, is affected by all that stuff that you've suppressed.

The last point is growing.

So we talked about identifying the root, right? Truly identify what's the root of this issue? When did it start? Where did it come from?

We then talked about how it colors, our outlook on life, right? And how important it is for us to let go of what was so that we can embrace what is so that we can stop carrying around those layers of what absolutely does not matter.

And then we talked about using our feelings as those signals to show us where we're wounded. To identify where the root is.

The last piece is that we need to grow in those areas. So you cannot give what you didn't get unless you grow it.

So I don't want you to have the illusion that just because you have a rooted wounded of mistrust. Because you have a rooted wound of lack of love. Because you have a rooted wound of abandonment. That doesn't mean that that's all you can produce.

If you go through this process and grow in these areas you can lead in them. When you have that opportunity to pause and grow you remove those limiting beliefs that you have in your life. It will remove the lies that you've told yourself. It will open you up to receive love and give it. To be able to be open to relationships and friendships, and to prosper in all of the areas of your life.

So, yes I'm telling you that if there's a rooted wound that you're dealing with in your life that you have not addressed, you're bearing the fruit of that rooted wound.

I'm telling you that the way that you can identify the roots that are in your life that you need to dig up is by trusting your feelings. And then to grow, grow in these areas. So when I say to grow in success, that's what I'm talking about. I'm talking about identifying where is there a gap, and then growing, enhancing yourself in that space.

So listen, don’t pretend, say what your feeling… it's okay to not be okay.

God leaves room for you to say that you're not okay.

I'm here to help you grow in success. We're all successful at some magnitude, there is a level of success that every last one of you has achieved, hands down. But there's always an opportunity for us to grow further. And I'm here to challenge you to do just that to grow in success in every arena of your life. I'm here to support you in that I'm here to hold you accountable for the things that you desire to do not to dictate what I perceive you should be doing. It's your life to live. It’s your vision to fulfill. It's your purpose to walk.

To support

To help you to identify what is it?

What is it that I purpose to be? And then how do I take those steps to do just that.

I want to give you the very first step.

Take the success language quiz. It's step number one. It is designed to truly help you to begin to understand who you are, where your opportunities are, where your strengths are. Understand your success language.